How To Live With People

How To Live With People

We have all been in that situation where we had to look for a flat and share it with other people. Flat hunting is one of the most annoying things in the world. Thus, we have all prayed for our new flatmates to be cool and clean people. However, it must come from both sides: you cannot impose rules on others without abiding to them yourself. You don’t want to upset your flatmates and in order to preserve the good atmosphere in your flatshare, here are few things you should always be doing:

Basic Rules of Living Together

Respect others’ boundaries
As much as I enjoy telling my life to other people and speaking to my flatmates, I also enjoy being by myself when I get home from work. After a long day, everybody wants to be in the quiet. If a flatmate is staying in their room, it is for a good reason. Leave them alone and wait for them to come out. If your flatmate is being quiet or watching TV on their own, don’t assume you can step in and disrupt. Having a private life in a flatshare isn’t the easiest thing. Hence, you and your flatmates should really try to facilitate it by respecting each other’s boundaries.

Clean after you’re done
As a student or young professionals in a tiny flat, we don’t usually have a dishwasher. And hand-washing the dishes is super annoying. So you may be tempted to let your dirty plates in the sink. Please, dont. Ever. Dirty dishes may accumulate, get out of hand and piss everybody off. Same when you eat or throw a party. Clean everything after you’re done. It is really unpleasant to clean someone else’s mess. You’re not a kid anymore and your flatmates are not your cleaning person. Just be respectful, you’ll avoid unproductive fights.

Ask permission first
We are not all party animals. Although some of us enjoy throwing massive flat parties every weekend, others don’t. Before organizing or arranging anything, ask your flatmates for their permission. Really, don’t be afraid to do so. They won’t be mood-killers and always say ‘no’. Do not worry, they will agree to a party every now and then and will appreciate you coming to them first. Your flatmates also live there and have a say. Expect it to be reciprocal. You’ve asked, they will too if they want to throw a party. And you’ll be happy they took you into consideration. Again, this will maintain harmony in your flatshare.

Inform others
If you go on a holiday or a weekend away, tell your flatmates. If they don’t know where you are, they might get really worried. They might call your parents or even the police if no one has a clue where you are. So much stress for nothing. This is something you don’t want. As a matter of fact, you are perfectly safe somewhere else. When you invite a partner or a friend over, inform your flatmates before your guest arrives. Your flatmates don’t want your other half to see them half-naked out of the bathroom. Again, this is just being considerate.

Buy what you want to use
If you used the last toilet paper roll or finished the washing liquid, go get some more. You finished it, you buy it. Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Because it always ends up with the same person buying for the entire flat, which represents a lot of money at the end of the month/year. And it is not up to one person to pay for everybody else. The only thing you’ll get is pissing off your flatmates. If you’re not sure, implement turns for who buys what and when.

Do you have the same and Do you abide by them? Do you have other rules you would share with us? Have you ever experience an awful flatsharing situation because you or your flatmates were not being considerate at all?

I hope you liked this post. Thanks for reading.

See you soon,
Love,
Corinne

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63 Comments

  1. May 14, 2017 / 7:06 pm

    I’m so lucky to not have needed to flat share, I live in my own flat and feel I’d be shocking in a flat share, however I completely agree on all of your points in this post. Be respectful x

  2. Terri
    May 14, 2017 / 7:06 pm

    I think I need to show my boyfriend this post haha, I’m always cleaning up after him!

  3. May 14, 2017 / 7:08 pm

    I love these rules. I’m living with my sister in a dorm room. We are quite different. Most of the time we get along well but as everybody else sometimes we are under a stress or just don’t feel very happy and we need some time alone. Knowing what to do and not to do in certain situations is really important. xx

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:50 pm

      Living with a sibling can be harder at times, as you are family it never seems “a big deal” ^^ but it’s cool if everything is going for the best between you two 🙂 x

  4. May 14, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have to share a flat and I think that you’re right, the effort has to come from both sides.
    -Olivia Xxx

    http://oliviaxalesha.com/blog/

  5. May 14, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    This is a really useful post. It’s not easy living with other people, especially people who aren’t family so remembering points like this would make it a lot less stressful! xx

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:51 pm

      Sometimes family is worse! As you are used to family boundaries are sometimes forgotten 🙂 x

  6. May 14, 2017 / 7:14 pm

    I’m so relieved to have actually ticked all of the boxes for these! I think knowing each other’s boundaries is perhaps the most important one, and I learnt the hard way… It was super awkward for me and my housemate for weeks after, but luckily we settled it.

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:52 pm

      Nothing worse than an award situation with a flatmate… At least you were able to get passed it 🙂 x

  7. abbeylouisarose
    May 14, 2017 / 7:18 pm

    Such a great post, Corinne! Cleaning up after yourself is one of my golden rules too, I can’t stand people who can’t be bothered to keep communal areas tidy, it really doesn’t take much! I have had some awful flatshares in the past but thankfully I don’t have to live with those people any more!!

    Abbey 😘 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

  8. Robyn
    May 14, 2017 / 7:19 pm

    Yes! I might send this to the people I live with haha! I lived with a girl who use to use my toothpaste! It was just a bit too far. None of my housemates clean and it drives me insane!!!
    Robyn // http://www.midnightandlace.co.uk/

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:54 pm

      Ugh we feel you! Sometimes putting rules up on your kitchen wall is the best!.. Nothing worse than people that don’t see how lucky they are to have people that clean after them or put up with their behavior! x

  9. May 14, 2017 / 7:20 pm

    This is such a good post! Living with people at uni was a real test and I wish I could have directed them to this post, it would have saved me a lot of hassle!

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:54 pm

      We should tell unis to give out guides on how to live in a flatshare lol x

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:55 pm

      It does have it’s good sides, but things can get out of hand so quickly! x

  10. Alice
    May 14, 2017 / 7:22 pm

    Loved this post! I think I’d find it really difficult to live with other people, I love my own space and I hate it when others make a mess haha!

    Alice | alicemaysnell

  11. May 14, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    These were great, you’d assume these are common sense, but you’d be surprised by how many people disregard all these rules when they live with others. I don’t have roommates necessarily, I live with my parents and brother, they definitely break some of these “manners” once in a while, but definitely think they should be something we all follow out of courtesy and respect!

    • May 14, 2017 / 7:57 pm

      Wouldn’t you!? The worst is that’s it’s usually people that you don’t know before you shared a flat that are the worst! You would think that with strangers everyone would be on their best behavior but no… x

  12. May 14, 2017 / 7:41 pm

    If only everyone was like you Corinne! It would be a lot easier, some great advice here 🙂

    withloveb.com | with love, b.xo

  13. May 14, 2017 / 9:47 pm

    I’m lucky enough to still live at home, but I’ve heard about so many nightmare stories from my friends! I think a massive part of the problems some of my friends have is the boundaries!

  14. May 14, 2017 / 10:34 pm

    I have only lived with a roommate once in my life and when I lived there, I was hardly ever home. But I am a very private person who needs their space. It has to be hard living with a roommate whom you never met before. You would hope that each person would respect each other’s boundaries, but I imagine a good roommate would hard to find.

  15. Jessica Taylor
    May 15, 2017 / 1:52 am

    Thankfully I live alone and don’t have this issue. I once tried living with my best friend, and hated it! She had no concept of personal space!

  16. May 15, 2017 / 2:06 am

    College seems to be a place where most people would share a room. I have had no trouble with living with another person. We have a set of rules we follow religiously so everyone is treated fairly.

  17. May 15, 2017 / 2:55 am

    Life is easier when we respect each other and be mindful of our actions! We should show maturity and be responsible when living or sharing a space with someone.

  18. May 15, 2017 / 3:23 am

    I remember doing the roommate thing. It can definitely be difficult at times. It is hard to live with other human beings, even when they are your best friends.

  19. May 15, 2017 / 4:28 am

    Great tips. I think the one about informing your roommates is important and comely overlooked. It shows you care and respect them.

  20. May 15, 2017 / 5:27 am

    This post is so good if only more roommates read it. It can be hard to live with someone else, patience is needed.

  21. May 15, 2017 / 7:41 am

    Because i’ve lived in an expensive city I’ve had to spend years in house shares (so glad to be living with my partner now!) but it’s amazing how inconsiderate people can be! I remember one place I had the room by the front door and as I’m a shift worker I asked people to not slam the door when they left for work as some days I didn’t get home until 3am. None of them cared. All 3 would slam the door every morning when they left for work. I think everyone who shares with people needs to read this post!

  22. May 15, 2017 / 4:02 pm

    These rules are the perfect guidelines for getting along with roommates. I’m especially a fan of the ‘buy things you use’ rule. There’s nothing worse than seeing you’re out of something because someone else used it up!

  23. May 15, 2017 / 4:04 pm

    Although, I, James have been lucky enough to live with two great lots of people in my years at uni so far, I can definitely relate to all of these! Especially cleaning, and even more especially when it comes to dishes! There’s nothing I hate more than a pile of dirty plates that have been there for three days!

    Great post! Thanks for sharing.

    Jessica & James | Food & Baker

  24. May 15, 2017 / 4:08 pm

    Love all of these tips! I’ve only ever lived with my parents, and now I live with my partner so I’ve never had to deal with a lot of these things but can totally see why sharing a place with someone can be a bit difficult at times! Respecting others boundries is so important, love all of your advice x

    Tiffany x http://www.foodandotherloves.co.uk

  25. May 15, 2017 / 4:09 pm

    Great post! I wish more people lived by these rules 💖

  26. May 15, 2017 / 4:10 pm

    Oh how I wish this post had been around during my Erasmus exchange with my friend almost two years ago now! We would’ve had it so much easier if we’d just implemented a few of the rules mentioned above. One thing we did do was always share the cost of groceries and things like toilet paper. We’d always go to the supermarket together and basically each of us would pay half. 🙂 We also (usually) just did the dishes together!

    xoxo
    Freya
    thatgirlyt.wordpress.com

  27. May 15, 2017 / 4:11 pm

    Hi, great ground rules that all house sharers should implement. Luckily, I never had any problems.

  28. May 15, 2017 / 4:11 pm

    All such good rules!! In NYC it is super super common to have roommates and hehe I have 2 and I feel like they could use some refreshers on some of these…LOL how passive agressive would it be to print this post out and tape it to the fridge? 😉

  29. May 15, 2017 / 4:14 pm

    Love this post and being a university student I can totally agree on every point!xx

  30. May 15, 2017 / 4:16 pm

    I lived in hostels for a while as a teen due to home circumstances and I think this definitely set me up for being more tolerant of neighbours and mess. But I think it all comes down to respect. It doesn’t have to be hard, just a few simple boundaries and you’re set. Great post! 🙂

  31. May 15, 2017 / 4:17 pm

    That’s really useful! Didn’t live with someone else for really long time, but pretty sure I will need.

    When I was sharing a dorm room while I was in language school, it was really great when we were cleaning the dorm we just divided tasks, so we both new who and what does and we didin’t get in each other way.

  32. May 15, 2017 / 4:29 pm

    Thankfully I’ve never had to live with someone in a flat share but these are great tips, I’ll definitely pass them on to my sister who’s moving in with some girls at uni!
    PaleGirlRambling xo

  33. May 15, 2017 / 5:03 pm

    Couldn’t agree with this post more. Well, even though I’ve never shared house with strangers before, but I’ve seen my friends having to live with some inconsiderate people and I feel sorry for them. Great post Corinne! x

  34. Leah
    May 15, 2017 / 6:03 pm

    Great read! Especially for university students like myself. I think the golden rule is to respect each other’s boundaries whether your mate is your friend or not, I think once that rule is perfected, everything else falls into place!

    xx
    Leah
    therightdirections.wordpress.com
    (@ETTENOMHAEL)

  35. May 15, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    These are all very important rules and guidelines to go over when moving in with someone. Most relationships don’t work out when you live together. It is quite sad. We have lost a couple friends over these exact problems that occur.

  36. Tiara Wilson
    May 16, 2017 / 1:58 am

    I could not agree with this more. My husband and I use to allow people to stay with us until they could get on their feet or not, but it was so absolutely frustrating when people would leave dishes in our sink or our bathrooms would be dirty and they never picked up after themselves. Ah, I couldn’t imagine sharing our space with anyone else now.

  37. Elizabeth O.
    May 16, 2017 / 3:55 am

    It’s crazy having to live with other people but sometimes, that’s how it works. I think these are very good rules to follow to avoid clashing with each other.

  38. May 16, 2017 / 6:40 pm

    These are great tips. I think some people are naturally good at sharing a space. I still live at home and we’ve all found a great balance that works for everyone.

  39. May 16, 2017 / 6:40 pm

    I’ve never had to share with anyone other than family / partner, but these are great tips for everyone. 🙂

  40. May 16, 2017 / 6:58 pm

    Yes to all of these!! I’ve been so lucky with my housemates whilst at uni; I’ve lived with variations of the same group for the whole three years and we’re more like family than anything. Saying that, although I do love them to pieces, the washing up has been the source of many many arguments..

  41. May 17, 2017 / 5:03 am

    I’ve never had to share but these tips seem like agreat idea. I wonder if I can get my daughter on board!

  42. May 19, 2017 / 2:13 am

    Thank you for sharing this! My boyfriend and I has been planning to live together for a while so I can save the money from my monthly rent. These tips are surely beneficial to both of us since there will be a lot of adjustments that are going to happen.

  43. Jasmin N
    May 20, 2017 / 9:25 pm

    These are great tips! Respecting each other is the keu I think, whether it’s living together with your partner or a friend 🙂 wonderful read, thank you for sharing these 🙂

  44. June 19, 2017 / 2:55 pm

    This was super helpful! I am soon moving in with a close friend of mine, and while I think we set up really good ground rules, this was a good thing to have in mind before we have any conflict. Everything adds up to the fact of respecting and communicating with each other xxx

    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

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